You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i believe in u and ur pee
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
