White coat. Heels.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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