i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
