I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
