sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
