This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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