The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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