Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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