I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
