I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
