I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm really busy with my period
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