No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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