i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize