the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the day after is always just damage control
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
