ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
