You're so nebulous sometimes
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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