dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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