it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize