Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
