Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize