i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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