do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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