Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
