508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The Olympian is in my bed
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The ass gains better be worth it
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