Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
