I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
