Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
