Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Who died my cat blue again?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize