fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
