Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
