His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
