When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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