check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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