I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
