I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
