We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So squirting runs in the family.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
