i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
