Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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