I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
