He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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