we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
my liver is dry heaving
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
