If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
