Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
