who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
