This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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