I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
