hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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