I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
