Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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