Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
