so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
