I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
