the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
