singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Randomize
