He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
