Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
