Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
