I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
