is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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