i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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