She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
