My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Your penis caused this!
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