I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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