I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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