just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
