Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
