I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She even gives head with a lisp.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Randomize
