"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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