Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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