the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
