very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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