New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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