I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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