Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
