im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize