i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize