You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
