Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
