using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
