I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
